I write this story as a Ghanaian, and a very proud one at that. Being gay in Ghana is extremely challenging as many people are homophobic and ignorant about homosexuality. It gets hard to be oneself when you are in a country deeply rooted in religious morality and superstitions about anyone and anything, so walking through the door and saying “hey mom, I am gay!” won’t give you points anywhere in this life.
I can say I have been into guys since I was 9. It began with showing of body parts and then it turned into something else as the years flew by. Each year of my life has been a relentless torture of learning how to talk, walk, cross arms and even facial expressions which are deemed appropriate by my very homophobic “friends”.
Growing up, I had the typical warnings of what happens to boys who went to senior high schools, but that further increased my interest in them. In school, I was made to think I was an outcast, abnormal and a grievous mistake from hell.
As a young adult, I face certain challenges as to who to be with in the future. One has to consistently refer to him as her just to save face. Suicide has been a number one priority in my day to day dealings as it seems I further drown into depression day after day… I have further isolated myself from family and friends as it gets hard to keep with the trends of time. I pray it’s not a matter of time before it gets too late for me.
For most who can afford to live the life… They end up with a very depressed wife who thinks she is the cause of their hopeless sex life… I have a few friends who were brave but it meant leaving life as they know it and never coming back.
I will come out to my family but I know that life as I have come to know it will cease to exist. All I just wish for is understanding…
So much feel for you and praying you have found a way through all this.
I was born and raised in Ghana and recently came out from the closet. I relate with all you said and many felt and sounded familiar to my life growing up. As successful as i am today, i owe it to never giving up on my darkest hours. I am gay, always has been and always will be. To the many in Ghana that cannot come out, i hope they take time to find themselves and begin to live a true life irrespective of the culture, religion and traditional norms surrounding them. I try to visit back home every year to connect with gay friends to inspire them and keep their hopes on the positive end of life. With time….It gets BETTER!